Hello friends - I had planned this blog in hopes of gaining insight into how to manage the kids while dealing with severe health issues but I find my strength is rapidly diminishing and I might as well stop while I can still write. However, I will give you an update. After finding out my own devastating news, my spouse of 33 years was diagnosed with liver and kidney cancer, so she too will be "moving on". Its odd because I'm a non smoker but got lung cancer and she is a non drinker and got liver cancer. Well, I guess one can never, ever anticipate what lies ahead.
As for our acting out teens - they raged and acted out even more for a while, but the youngest two, although still smoking pot a few times a day - have ceased raging and have become affectionate and helpful. Yesterday they cooked me the most wonderful birthday dinner and set up the dining room filled with flowers and my grandmother's table cloth for dinner. They are also open to counselling and are actively doing what they have to in order to get back into alternative school now and regular school in the fall. One has also gone back to her rugby team. So, I have some hope for them. Another is so into her addiction that even though she has big plans, I don't see them happening for a long time. The 4th has un-diagnosed mental health issues that are not going to get her anywhere either but she is 19 so an adult where we live and we can no longer influence her life. She is living with us for now, but that will have to end soon.
My wonderful 18 year son continues to be wonderful and he has matured beyond his years in the last two months. Some people grow and strengthen from life's cruelty while others do the opposite. I am so proud that he has the capacity to grow.
I don't know how we will manage the next few months. I do know that I am encouraged and delighted by the changes in my two youngest, and I will pray for the other two. I add all of you in prayers as well. I will miss you.
As for our acting out teens - they raged and acted out even more for a while, but the youngest two, although still smoking pot a few times a day - have ceased raging and have become affectionate and helpful. Yesterday they cooked me the most wonderful birthday dinner and set up the dining room filled with flowers and my grandmother's table cloth for dinner. They are also open to counselling and are actively doing what they have to in order to get back into alternative school now and regular school in the fall. One has also gone back to her rugby team. So, I have some hope for them. Another is so into her addiction that even though she has big plans, I don't see them happening for a long time. The 4th has un-diagnosed mental health issues that are not going to get her anywhere either but she is 19 so an adult where we live and we can no longer influence her life. She is living with us for now, but that will have to end soon.
My wonderful 18 year son continues to be wonderful and he has matured beyond his years in the last two months. Some people grow and strengthen from life's cruelty while others do the opposite. I am so proud that he has the capacity to grow.
I don't know how we will manage the next few months. I do know that I am encouraged and delighted by the changes in my two youngest, and I will pray for the other two. I add all of you in prayers as well. I will miss you.
Oh Brenda, I had somehow missed all of this news. I have been missing your posts on FB and was just going to reach out. I am devastated to hear about your illness and sending every warm and healing prayer your way. I am in awe of your courage and my heart breaks for you and all of your kids. You have created a loving (and I am sure crazy and chaotic and tragic and laughter-filled, and...) family and they will have eachother always...because of you. I am sitting here in tears and sending love and light. I have learned so much from you and I am so grateful for our connection. love, susan
ReplyDeleteBrenda, I wanted to reach out and just thank you for the strength and guidance I have received over the years from workshops, books, and blog posts. Your raw honesty and gentle care have buoyed me in ways you will never known. I am so sorry to hear about your illness; I am sending you and your family love, light, and peace.
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