I've finally got some support for one of them starting next week and this is a learning point. I've been amazed at how slow the professionals are to get working with our family. This outreach worker has had our file for weeks but first she had to have vacation (ok, I get that) and then she somehow managed to take two weeks to set an appointment with my teen so that won't even start till next week. You'd think with something like this they could be moving more quickly. Also, we've had Child Services involved for a while now because of the violent rages of one, and this social worker was always quick to call a meeting or do other tasks. Now, we can't get her to return our calls.
I've also got to figure out how to keep supporting my non-acting out teen (I bet you're surprised that I have one of those). He has always been a joy to raise, and is just about to graduate high school and go on to a career in the military. We were able to make sure that all the attention and energy didn't get sucked up by the acting out kids by giving him special times together and making sure we had quiet times to just talk about his life. This July we were planning that my spouse would take him and our same age granddaughter on a trip to Thailand or somewhere fun and exotic. That trip won't happen now. I worry that now that I don't have any energy he will disappear into the background of the chaos that the others are causing.
I'm also fairly consumed with trying to find a way to cut short the relationship re-building that would have taken the next few years to do. With one of my teens, I have just said "We don't have any time, we have to heal what is between us now" and she was able to hear that and we are working on it (not that it prevents her from taking a bottle of rum to bed with her at night), but the others are not so easy. I know there are other cancer parents out there, so if you have any suggestions on this, I would greatly appreciate hearing from you.
Well, onward and downward, but I'm not dead yet, so I'm going to keep trying.